I'm leaving now...

When God speaks there is always change.
I was afraid...
'What if I don't succeed?'
'What if I screw up on the first day?'

But this isn't about me... This is about You. Remind me constantly, dear Lord.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
If you can use anything, Lord, you can use me
Take my hands, Lord, and my feet,
Touch my heart, speak through me.
If you can use anything, Lord, you can use me!
| Ron Kenoly - Use Me |

Its here... The eve of my enlistment. 3 weeks of confinement coming up. This will be the longest time I've not blogged since I started journaling. I'll try to remember my experiences and update when I get out. Thats if I have the time or energy to... Come to think of it, this will be the longest time I'll be away from home. It will be a good experience I guess. I thank God for the countless friends who have encouraged me and prayed for me. It just feels so good that God sends these people to look out for me. Even people I'm not close to, like Edwin from Paya Lebar Methodist Church and Jon from Church Of Our Saviour, prayed for me when I met them. I can't help but feel that there is a work for me to do. Maybe you can write it off as something every Christian NSman should be doing, but I feel that its a responsibility not to be taken lightly. Something is relying on this.

You will spark something off.
Lynette gave me a word from God today and it just shook me. Not that I don't want to do it. Its just that the weight of responsibility seemed too much to take. It felt like there were so many things that I needed to do by myself. But then God reminded me of Moses' responsibility and how He guided Him as well. Right up to the point where He told Moses specifically what to do and say. God showed Moses that he could trust Him and then the rest was told on a need to know basis. Similar to what I'm going through now. I have the BIG picture and God will reveal the next steps gradually. I'm apprehensive about whats coming up. But praise God!!! He goes before me to prepare the way for me. He's walks beside me to guide me. And glory will be given to Him in places that I've been.

Dear Lord, thank You for preparing me for army. Thank you that in You, I can be spiritually strong, mentally sound and physically fit. You are my light, my sword, my shield, my fortress. Lord I thank You that I will not be tempted beyond what I can bear. I will not fall away from You but I will shine for You. For you will make my righteousness shine like the dawn. I will not be ashamed of the gospel but be a testimony for You. I will wear the cross around my neck with pride and responsibility. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Your Type is INFP
Introverted 33%
Intuitive 33%
Feeling 33%
Perceiving 67%
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.


INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)
INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response. Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

Functional Analysis
INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

Alrighty... This weekend has been a flurry of activity. Let me start on Friday. Went to Sentosa with Lynette, Pat, Gloria, Jennifer and Dennis. It was Jennifer's birthday and I guess they wanted to show her around. Did a lot of walking along the stretch of beaches at Sentosa. Basically talked nonsense all the way with Dennis. Had New Zealand Ice Cream at central beach and looked at couples making out in canoes. Basically a reminder of what I was like. Not that I was so indiscreet. But just a reminder to be careful. :P
Anyway, we celebrated Jennifer's birthday at the top of the giant merlion. She was so thrilled when she saw the cake and when we started singing Happy Birthday. It made me wonder why no one does these kinds of things for me. But then again, I'm not that kind of person. So it doesn't really matter.

Saturday was spent shopping for army stuff. Things like powder, extra army t-shirts and singlets, socks, black tape, kiwi shoe polish, etc... Met quite a few other guys who were also booking in on the same day as me. Went to meet Christine after dumping my stuff at home. Had dinner at Takashimaya before walking all the way to Dhoby Ghaut MRT... I actually intended to send her to her church youth service before heading back to my church. But I thought it would be good to see their youth service and also say hello to some of the mission trip people. I'm glad I did.

Seeker Service today was better than I expected... As usual, God did His 'thing'. There will always be things that we can improve on but praise God that He can use us for great things. I was especially moved during the actual skit. When Alicia, Jean and especially Wee Seng (1 year old Christian?) was acting out their roles, I was stunned by how God has been with them as they've grown spiritually. It was just the fact that these people love my God enough to serve Him in ways they know how.
If you could only see how He has changed our lives. If you didn't just brush it off as just another religious mumbo jumbo. If only you weren't blinded by the world. If you didn't try to reason everything out through logic with your limited understanding. And if you did try to reason logically, if only you'll do it thoroughly.
Would you believe?

I personally don't believe in scare tactics. But there was nothing scary about Atomic's (the speaker's name) message. He gave an overview on his topic, lingered in every point, revisited the points he covered after finishing each point and at the end of it all, summarised everything again. Maybe to make sure everyone got the message. Praise God no one fell asleep. Praise God that he works despite things like this. Haha. Not that I'm perfect in any way. I played horribly during worship too...
4 hours of soccer to cap it all off today. Its been a tiring weekend. But I'm a happy boy nonetheless. Praise God for family and friends. I'm going to spend my last few days as a civilian at Rhema Bible School. 7am tomorrow!

Went down to Rhema Bible School today for the healing service again. I was slightly late for the worship. Thankfully, Reverend Tony decided to linger in the Spirit so I managed to get into the flow as well. God's Spirit was definitely there so I used the opportunity to ask a few questions. And I got my answers...
As always when I hear God, He always reassures me. Always with such a sense of loving peace. Its interesting that I got all this during a healing service. Haha...

I will make a path for you. You've been reading about Joshua. See how I guided him? See how I made his victory as he obeyed me? Thats all I need and thats all I've been asking you for all this while. Your willingness & obedience.

If you're willing & obedient, you will eat the good of the land. If you're willing & obedient, you will bring my goodness to others. I can use anything or anyone so I can certainly use you. You have work to be completed in this next phase of life. You will be a light for others, a city on a hill. So find your lampstand and find your hill.

Yesterday I found out that I took 20 minutes for 2km because the machine was spoilt. I ran 2.5km using the better treadmill and I clocked 11 minutes 20 seconds. What a relief! I sensed something was wrong when I had to sprint at 9km per hour using the lousy machine. Now it can't even work anymore. Went to the gym again today and decided to jog a longer distance. I ran 5km in 30 minutes. At least now I'm more confident of my physical fitness. I think I'll jog again on Sunday.

::: Verse of the Day :::
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
| Matthew 5:13-16 |

I just watched Dodgeball with Xiong, Liwei, Gerald and Angelina... We initially didn't buy a ticket for Xiong because of a miscommunication. But thankfully we could get another ticket for the seat in the row in front of us. Killer show with classic lines so stupid that they became funny. Ben Stiller was hilariously lame...

Less than week till enlistment. I almost had a panic attack yesterday afternoon. But I guess reading the book of Joshua has been encouraging me. How did Joshua become such a great leader? Simply by listening to what God told him to do. Pure & simple... How did Joshua & Israel sustain their faith? I think one of the key reasons was that they remembered the goodness of God and how He had sustained them since they left Egypt. This was evident in the stones that they put up every once in a while. I guess this blog is what you may call my 12 stones.

Been praying about whether or not I should aim for OCS... Not even sure if I have the capability to achieve that. But as people always remind me, if God plans for me to go, He will provide the means to. I will just prepare myself spiritually, mentally and physically to obey and carry through with it. Just like the way Joshua led Israel to success after success. All because he consulted God and obeyed. In fact, the only time they met with failure was when he didn't consult God. And even so, God provided a way back into the path of success.

So proud of Jeremy and the way he has started the prayer group in his bunk. If I manage to do the same, I'll be satisfied with myself. There's something for me to do in army. He's been preparing me for this for 2 years...

::: Verses of the Day :::
Then Joshua called the twelve men whom he had appointed from the children of Israel, one man from every tribe; and Joshua said to them:
"Cross over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, "What do these stones mean to you?' Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever."
| Joshua 4:4-7 |

I enjoyed my weekend. Saturday was something I'd looked forward to for so long. The soccer 'match' with Agape Methodist Church. It wasn't really a match because we had all mixed together and formed 2 groups. Really missed playing soccer on a field. There's nothing like it. The exhileration of running down the field at full speed with a ball at your feet is incredible. The thought of giving a penetrating pass or cross which would result in a goal sends shivers down my spine everytime I think about it. Soccer will always draw people. Its a universal game which anyone can play. If you can run and you can kick, you can play. Simple yet beautiful at the highest level.

So there was Joe who's been joining us more often in cell and church activities. There's Daniel, one of Dale's old pals from army. There was Issac, Derick's friend I think. The Agape youth were good sports too although they weren't used to our agressive style of soccer. But there were 2 or 3 of them who managed fine though. The Agape youth wanted to play them versus us in the 2nd half so we lent them 4 players. Unfortunately 2 of them got hurt. :/

Had practice after church. Only 2 songs because of seeker service next week. It felt good to play the drums for worship after more than a month hiatus. Had fun jamming with Xiong & Joe after the practice too. Went to suntec for 15 minutes before taking a cab down to 85 for dinner. Didn't feel like eating much. Too tired.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Temporary rush of pleasure
Forgotten, gone in an instant
Creations of desire
Filling the silky sky
Perhaps the end is here
Slowly the memory ebbs away
The pain is plastered
With the softest laughter

Forgive me if I distance myself
Promises broken and lies kept
Rebuild, Restructure
Life begun from the bottom rung
The reality of it rains down
Wave after wave of dreams destroyed
The fragments cut deep
Like attrition, it whits you away

Staring past you, the forbidden
Unable to meet your eyes
Like pools, pure and deep
An invitation to fall in
Traces of hope with every smile
Every glance, stolen like prized jewels
But in the end happiness reigns
For patient proximity is enough for me
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Sometimes you do things because you want it so badly. And its not wrong, but people might get the wrong impression of why you did those things. So you don't breathe a word to anyone.
Not the outcome I would have liked but I'm alright. Surprisingly alright. Definitely saddened. But it's not my whole life depending on it anymore. Keep in View...

Went for healing school thursday afternoon. Its always good to learn especially when Reverend Tony was giving an inspired teaching. About God having to fulfill His promises because He can't go against His Word. Because of His covenant and promise to Abraham and His new covenant in the form of Jesus Christ. Sort of like an obligation. Good for people who are in the business world. But my understanding of God is that He loves us and WANTS to bless us. Not because he is bound by terms of a contract. Nonetheless, it was an interesting point of view...

Met Dennis in the evening just to catch up and chat. Talked about things ranging from cell to serving in church and of course the favourite topic of all guys around the world.... SOCCER!!! =P
Anyway, I decided to hang around Tampines after he went home. Didn't go home till much much later.

Had prayer meeting this evening. Good time of prayer. There are more and more people as weeks go by. A sign that we're on the right track? I believe so. God spoke to me during thanksgiving near the end of the meeting. Now I've decided to throw off the things that hinder. I shall press towards the goal.

Speaking of goals... I shall score plenty tomorrow afternoon. I think there'll be an insane number of players coming down. Probably have to play a mini-league of four 7-a-side teams. Need to get some rest. Goodnight world. By the way, I'm still amazed at how 'alright' I'm feeling. Praise God for that.

::: Song of the Day :::
Can I just be something
Somewhere in your room that you won't notice
Maybe I'll be paper or books thrown on your floor
Move me when you want to
I'll live where you put me
In your VCR if I become a cassete
Or on top of your computer
If that's where I would fit then so be it

But things can't be perfect
All the time that I know
Sometimes we just have to let some things go

I will not say one word
I'll just hang around
I won't annoy you at all
When you move out I'll stay until I'm thrown away
But then it won't matter

I promise to start now (to start now)
I promise to start now (to start now)

Letting go is my life
I'll be on my way.....
| armor for sleep - kind of perfect |

Didn't post anything because life was quite uneventful until today. And now today has happened, I don't wanna write about it. Run and hide.

Really looking forward to Saturday's soccer and maybe another match with Melvin's team of uncles on Sunday.

::: Quote of the Day :::
Just try to let things be. Don't dwell on it.

Covenant...
The word just sends a shudder down my spine. Stanley spoke on the old covenant and the new covenant today. When I read about how God was so faithful, so generous and so detailed with his covenant with Abraham, it just made me so ashamed of the 1 year covenant I made last year. I was supposed to stay single for the whole year. I did complete the covenant but it was in what you might call a messy way of doing it. There were 3 occasions where I thought I could have handled things in a better way. Of course, its no use crying over spilt milk but it just makes me shudder at how perfect God is. There's just no comparison.

I think I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. I was tired out by the full day on Saturday, so I didn't make it for prayer. Barely made it for worship either. I couldn't concentrate till the last song. Everyone was worshipping in full force already but I was barely stepping in. I find days like this really weird. Its as if I'm satisfied but at the same time there's something I'm missing. Yes, some might nail it down to my desire to have someone by my side. Someone to walk God's path with me. But I'm beginning to think that it might be something deeper. Something not so obvious.

Dear God, what am I missing? Why this listlessness? You said that your commands are not a burden. You said I have overcome the world. You said I'm a new creation. Why is it I still yearn for the old ways? On one hand desiring to do those things, on the other hand not being able to do it because I don't want to do anything wrong. God, teach me to be like Paul. To be satisfied and content in this situation. This is a lesson that should have been completed long ago. It all boils down to selfish discontent.
You have overcome my problems, Lord. So help me not to get dragged back into them. Help me focus on and love others the way you loved them. Amen.

::: Verse of the Day :::
This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
| 1 John 5:3 |

Carnival @ Charis!!!
We had a whale of a time. The games stall was a resounding success. We raised over $300 with our games. I guess the water bombs really attracted people. The can-toppling game also was a huge success. Jeremy was brilliant in making the sand balloons to throw. Impressive what army has done to him!! Hahah...

Its also been a day of a lot of talking. Had a good chat with Jackson near the end of the carnival. Talked about army and how he had started a Christian Fellowship in his company. We both agreed that it was good for the Spiritual health of NS men.

Went for dinner at the food centre at East Coast Park with Joe and Jennifer, our friends from Rhema Bible School. Pi Long joined us later. I had a long chat with him about God's calling for us. He shared with me how God had guided him in making a decision to come to Rhema Singapore to study. I shared my testimony with him and my desire to serve God. I also shared with him what I had heard from God about Chiang Mai. I don't know whether I said too much but I felt that he understood my passion for youth.

Words I have heard often... But it sounded so different coming from him. He put it so simply. Almost like a matter-of-fact. Which is true... It is fact! When God calls us to serve, He will provide us the means. Whether it be finance, accommodation or language. He makes the way happen. So often we get caught up in our sacrifices that we forget that what he has provided greatly outnumbers what we've given.

Today I learnt the vastness of the body of Christ. I learnt that each part has a responsibility to fulfill in helping other parts. Each part complements others and they work together to greater effect. But the consequence of a person not fulfilling his or her responsibility result in consequences for other parts. The mouth won't get fed if the hand doesn't bring food. And the hand cannot take the food unless the feet bring it to the food.

People are starving... Not physically but spiritually. Whose responsibility is this? Who isn't doing their job? Who is not obeying? How do we get around this?
I'm so tired that I can't think properly. There's prayer tomorrow morning. Gotta get some shuteye. Goodnight.

Just got home from a movie. Watched Raising Helen... Another chick flick and a bad choice by me. Watched it with Jeremy & Liwei. We were supposed to catch Alien Vs Predator but it wasn't screening at Tampines GV tonight. I kept apologising for the first half of the movie because of the lameness. But thankfully, it caught my interest with its take on adoloscent behaviour as well as the pains of parenting.

If only intentions were good enough. If only discipline didn't require effort. If only waiting did not take so long. If only rewards came for the littlest job done well. If only circumstances always worked for you instead of against you. If only memories were made real again. If only reality could be bent and shaped the way you wanted. If only dreams like this weren't so pathetic.

::: Word of the Day :::
Insinuate
v. in·sin·u·at·ed, in·sin·u·at·ing, in·sin·u·ates
To introduce or otherwise convey (a thought, for example) gradually and insidiously.

Okie... Papa got back his Bose sound system back from repairs today. And now he's listening to some yodelling CD he got from switzerland. I'm not against world music but its kinda getting on my nerves. The living room sounds like a circus now. Even Spunky is grumpy...

The Terminal is a great show. Steven Spielberg lives up to reputation yet again. Tom Hanks was almost convincing in his role as that foreign guy. For awhile the movie threatened to become another version of Castaway. But it picked up after Tom's character learnt more English. Absolutely charming movie...

Came home after sending Elissa to Chinatown. On the way back from Outram interchange, there was this girl who was standing in front of me. She shocked me by suddenly stamping her foot loudly on the train floor. She was pouting like a little spoilt girl. It was bizarre to see a grown woman (20 years old?) acting like that.
So anyway, I slept almost immediately after I got back home. Was out till about 4:30pm. Been doing some powerpoint presentation for this sunday. I realised now that I have to make it a point to take more pictures of the people there. There's simply not enough pictures of the Thai adults. :
Feel like writing another song. Hahaha!!!

Good evening world... Its been a good start of the week. Went to the gym yesterday and swimming today. My fitness program has taken off! A bit wary of the 2.4km run though... I took 20 mins to run 2 km on monday. I think something is wrong with the machine. Maybe it was counting in miles or something. :P
Nevermind... Rest tomorrow and gym again on Thursday.

Been planning for the church carnival this saturday. So Pat & Gloria have been coming over after school. Ben came also yesterday... We did the banner and the equipment needed for the games. Its really good to have friends over. It really brightens the day by giving me something to look forward to. Keeps my mind off things. Had a sumptuous dinner/supper at bedok 85. Pork porridge, satay and a mouthful of stingray. :P~

So anyway, in the short span of an hour, I've made plans for the next 2 days. Going back to Temasek Poly to get my diploma and watch Christina and her band in the library. Maybe drop by church to get my guitar, get bible study material from Andy and pay him back for New Star Soccer 2. Then I'll meet Cheng in the evening at cineleisure to watch Garfield.
On Thursday, I'll be meeting Elissa to watch The Terminal in the morning. Meeting Dennis in the evening for dinner. Friday should be spent finishing up the carnival stuff and setting up in church.

Barney asked about DG just now... So glad he did. Really shows that he wants to learn. Such an encouragement to me. Made me all the more excited about getting the material from Andy. Praise God this has been a good week. Thank God for everyone.

::: Verse of the Day :::
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
| Lamentations 3:22-23 |

Sunday Service... It was global music sunday. I was trying to appreciate the music and the actions that we had to follow for worship. I was trying to worship God with music I didn't enjoy and singing that I wasn't used to. I was about to make it happen. And then she had to go and say that "...some church's worships are so noisy! No different from shopping centres!"
It just killed my focus... It took me a few moments to convince myself that she wasn't referring to our church. She doesn't know about our worship and our desire to please God. It was simply her opinion and her taste in music which was different.

So anyway, we had a good time of pre-service prayer. I believe God spoke to me during the prayer.
If you fulfill your responsibilities, if you are obedient, I will fulfill my end of the bargain. I will do what you ask. I will bless your church and make it prosperous. Not only financially, but you as a church will grow spiritually mature.

If you are truly a people after my heart, prove yourselves. Prove that you are able to handle my blessings and bless others. Do what I have asked you to do. Pray!! You pray for the leaders? I have heard your cries and I will answer you. Just like I heard and answered the cries of my people and delivered them from Egypt. Pray for yourself(yourselves)! You are the future of this church.

I couldn't take anymore at this point. Kinda like information overload. I don't know what to make of this. Kinda sensitive I know. :/
Gathering of Gatherers (GG) was good too! Stanley taught on leadership again. On how Leadership requires an understanding of the people you're leading. A part of it was similar to my last post about having tact. Thank God that what He teaches me from different sources are about the same topic. Thats the wonder of His divine syllabus!

Had a really enjoyable time for dinner with Xiong, Gloria & Dennis. Had a killer burger at Blooie's. Talked for very long after dinner and then went to The Cheescake Cafe for dessert. We had Raspberry Oreo Cheesecake, Walnut Cheesecake, Blueberry Cheesecake and Tiramisu (my favourite). Dennis and I shared a Ice Chocolate Float and Xiong had Earl Grey Tea. Joked and laughed about many things. Mainly about girls (or the lack thereof). Wahahaha...

Super tired... ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...

Today was definitely the best day of the week. For one thing, I got out of the house!! Thats always good! Met up with the cell group today. Jeremy Gan had his first book out today. So glad that he came for cell. Really good to see him. I think I was inexplicably cheerful today. I just felt so elated that the members turned up. Not that they haven't been coming for cell. I don't know how to put it. :P Just happy I guess.

Had our first prayer session for the XS youth before combined word today. Although it was only the 3 of us (Pat, Gloria & myself), I feel that its the start of a whole new season for the XS youth. Great things can only be set in motion through prayer. I'm glad that Pat organised it because its been something that I've been having a burden for. Actually its for the whole church. But XS is a part of the church and its like the core. I know its been mentioned before, but these are the next batch of leaders. I've been praying for them on my own but its always good to come together because for the body of Christ to change, the body of Christ must desire and pray for it to happen.

Another thing I need to learn. I won't say I'm a good judge of character (I thought I was!), but I do sometimes get insights of certain people and situations. Like things that they need to do or learn. But what I need to learn is that people won't take it if you force it down their throats. Although you need to be firm and direct occasionally, most of the time you just need one thing.

Tact
Without it, people will just close up and shut you out. Maybe you do know what you're talking about or maybe you don't. But once you offend people with your words, you won't get anything out of them. Not even the chance to know if you were right or not. The lesson of the day... Although God may show me the root of problem, I need to continue listening for His instructions. It may simply be for my own knowledge so that I'll know how to work with the person in future. Most problems don't require my intervention. Its between them and God. Only bring it up if God tells me to do it.

So anyway, I met up with Matt, Jean, Ziig, Joshua, Cheng, Hafiz and Aaron to watch "Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid". It wasn't as bad as I thought. But it was still bad... Haha. The best thing to do when you watch crappy movies like these is to laugh at the sheer predictability of the storyline. It was just so much like Jurassic Park. I was right about the monkey and the black guy. Heheheh... It was Matt's first book out too. So it was good to see him. Especially with the botak head. :D

Good morning... This is like the earliest I've woken up for many weeks! Except on Sundays of course. Supposed to meet up with Andy and then go for a swim. But he couldn't squeeze in the time. Has to be in NUS at 12 I think. I think I'll go down at 11am for a dip.

Meeting up with Gloria later to meet up with Josephine from the dance ministry in PLMC. She was with us in ChiangMai in June. It'll be good to get out of the house. Wahaha...

I've been looking back through the old pictures in my computer... About 3 years worth! Its funny how most of them leave with you with a sense of regret and longing. Not being sad but the kind of longing where you miss old friends and special events. Kinda like nostalgia. Here's one from ChiangMai in August that makes me smile.



Better get changed. The pool is calling out.

Wheee... I screwed up again. Hahaha! It didn't work. Or rather, it didn't work out the way I would have liked.

Been slacking alot during the weekdays. Spending lots of time on the computer. Mainly doing reading, checking up on verses, soccer results. Things like that. Just started playing this new game called New Star Soccer 2. Introduced to me by Andy. I actually asked Andy to purchase the registration key for me because I'm so addicted to it.

I took a nap after dinner because I wasn't feeling too good. I couldn't really fall asleep. And staring out of my window from the darkness of my room didn't help. So I decided to get up to read the bible. I was reading the bible just now when I glanced at the date on my phone realised that it was now September... I'm in the same month as the day I need to enlist for army!!! 28 days and counting. I resolve to go jogging after my sprain has gotten better. Hopefully by tomorrow.

Which is worse?
The one with problems? Or one who finds problems with others?
Someone who does wrong? Or someone who 'repays' a wrong?
The unforgiven? Or the unforgiving?
The unloved? Or those who choose not to love?

::: Lyric of the Day :::
And there's a memory of a window, looking through I see you.
Searching for something I could never give you.
There's someone who understands you more than I do.
A sadness I can't erase, all alone on your face.
| third eye blind - god of wine |